Part 2 of my chat with hair whiz Doreen Guarneri, aka “Frizz’s Fiercest Foe”

While u r reading about frizz, I'm in Seattle.

While you’re reading about frizz, I’m on vacay in Seattle.

OMG times a billion. I’m supposed to be heading out the door for the airport, en route to the Pacific Northwest (Seattle! Vancouver! San Fran! Napa!) and I’m like craaaaaashing the second installment of my World Frizz Congress through the pipeline.

Off we go, hair-obsessed mamas…

Q. Simply Smooth Magic Potion NOT Shampoo was launched in tandem with Simply Smooth Magic Potion Curly, which is a leave-in. Is leave-in a “must” for frizzy hair? To weigh it down?

A. Following up with a hydrating leave-in conditioner with keratin and collagen will definitely help combat frizz as it helps seal in moisture. Your hair doesn’t have to be “weighed” down to combat frizz. Simply Smooth Magic Potion Curly is more specifically a curl shaping potion created in response to the huge curl trend. It helps with humidity control along with promoting soft curls.

Q. Over time, what does the use of heat styling devices do to naturally frizzy hair? Women use blow dryers and flat irons to smooth the hair, and reduce frizz, but can they actually expect a “boomerang” effect and wind up with MORE frizz?

A. Think of your hair as a natural fiber. You wouldn’t abuse a fine silk blouse by over-washing or drying it, and the same consideration needs to be applied to your hair. Over using heat appliances on all hair types can definitely result in dry, damaged hair with breakage which equates to frizz and the halo effect of cottony textured hair. That fact is increased if the hair is dry and/or frizzy on its own. There are many factors that need to be considered before deciding on proper use or how often you apply heat. First, if you have fine hair or over processed hair, you need to use a lower temperature than if you have coarse, thick hair, which can take higher temperatures. Pick and choose your battles and embrace your hair in all its differences. On the day you want your hair to be smoother or straighter, use more heat. However, when not needed, give your hair a break from the heat. Using hair products with thermal protection will also help. Look for products that are specific to heat protection.

Q. As a product creator, do you have “frizziness scale” that you measure hair by? Are there some women whose hair is so naturally frizzy nothing can smooth it?

A. When it comes to treating frizz, filling the “void” is what’s necessary. There are texture issues that are inherent in someone’s hair and then there are the season/climate factor that affects it. In order to combat frizz correctly, seek professional advice on what products will help at that time and for that specific need. In essence, to eliminate frizz, keeping the hair hydrated and the cuticle sealed is the goal. This will result in a smoother texture and a reflection of light off the hair.
My approach to frizz is what I call “texture management,” and when I evaluate a client’s hair, I look at the various texture issues. Simply Smooth has varied keratin treatments which allow me to personalize smoothing treatments to meet individual clients’ needs. If a client comes to me with highly textured hair and they desire wash and wear straight hair, a Simply Smooth & Straight chemical service is required to break the bonds and reshape the inner layer of the hair. Any result is possible with the right diagnosis.

Q. What’s the best way to care for hair that has been treated at the salon with keratin? Does it really have to “babied”? And how long do the keratin results typically last?

A. Maintenance with at-home keratin products is the key to success for durability. Depending on your lifestyle and use of heat, a keratin treatment can last anywhere from 2 l/2 months to 4 months. It’s a gradual change that comes out a little bit with each wash. But remember, not all keratin treatments are created equal. It’s a word used to describe a service in a salon. Do your research before you have a keratin treatment done on your hair.

Q. Who are good and bad candidates for a keratin treatment?

A. A bad candidate is someone who has great hair – they don’t need it! A keratin treatment replaces the loss of keratin in the hair. Virgin hair would not have a loss of keratin – so there’s nothing to replace! A good candidate is someone who has had any loss of keratin such as aging hair, color-treated, over-processed, over-heated, over-highlighted. My approach in texture management is to provide light results, strong results, frizz control, whatever is needed for that individual.


Frizz happens. So I tortured a bonafide expert with endless Qs about it, and here’s what she said…

Some girls have all the frizz-free luck.

Some girls have all the frizz-free luck.


It’s the bane of very existence, my bête noir, le grand défi de ma vie…

Although I started my life as a people-person with perfectly smooth, shiny locks – much like the Wee Lass’s, here – something sinister happened circa age 15, and I’ve been struggling ever since. Hence the roughly $20k I spent on blowouts when I lived in New York.

Because I’m always on the hunt for great products and lifestyle tweaks to reduce frizz, I reached out to Doreen Guarneri, owner of The Look Spa Salon in Greenlawn, New York and Global Artistic Director of American Culture Brands. She’s basically the Queen of Keratin, and frizz’s fiercest foe.

I sent Doreen a lot of Qs. Doreen sent me a lot of As. And because there were so many Qs and so many As, I decided to break this epic discussion up into two blog posts.

Part Two will run tomorrow.


I’m actually heading out for a massive vacay in about 2 hours – to the gorge Pacific Northwest – but I’m going to try to get over my technophobe tendencies and set the publishing date for the second installment of this chat for 24 hours from now.

Consider my fingers officially crossed.

On y va. Allons-y. Let’s go!

Q. What role do you think water quality plays in frizzy hair? I really think I should invest in one of those special shower heads that reduce mineral deposits, chlorine, etc. Could that help with frizz?

A. Hard water vs. soft water definitely plays a part, as hard water contains more minerals, such as calcium and magnesium, which can dry out the hair. Dry hair seeks moisture and when there’s a lack of it, there’s generally a rough cuticle, and frizz. Therefore, changing the water can help with frizz reduction and there are filter attachments that can be added to your shower head if you don’t want to invest in a totally new one. Before going that route, I recommend shampooing with a clarifying shampoo which will remove the mineral deposits. Simply Smooth pre-clean purifying shampoo is a good one, and has the added benefit of being sodium chloride free.

Q. If one of the key reasons for frizz is moisture-depletion, does it make sense to scale back on shampooing altogether? Say, from like 3-4 times per week to 2-3?

A. Reducing the amount of times you shampoo is certainly one alternative. What’s great is that there are now “shampoo” alternatives. Keeping the natural, beneficial oils in the hair is very important in keeping it hydrated. A cleansing conditioner is extra beneficial to traditional cleansing as it doesn’t contain harsh cleansers found in many other shampoos. Simply Smooth Magic Potion NOT Shampoo is an all-in-one cleansing conditioner that takes the place of shampoo, conditioner and deep conditioner. Or, using a dry shampoo is a nice alternative to wet cleansing and won’t dry out the hair.

Q. How long would you need to stick with a cleansing conditioner until you started to see results? And what might those results look like?

A. You’ll see and feel a difference in your hair in just one use. However, your approach to changing the texture and health of your hair should be a long term one. Once you start using a product multiple times you are going to gauge the real difference. The longer you stay away from harsh detergents that include ingredients such as sodium chloride and sulfates, the better your hair will become. The goal is to keep a healthy, flat cuticle. Using products with healthy ingredients such as botanicals, keratin and collagen will help to seal the cuticle and lock in moisture, thereby reducing frizz. As your “old” hair grows out and new hair grows in, the new hair will keep in good shape but the outgrowth will be tremendously better in just a few usages.  Results will be calmer, less bulky, less frayed, smooth, shiny, bouncy hair which is less reactive to climate and other conditions.


Beauty Armoire Monday: Exfolia Beauty Cloth, a deceptively gutsy little number

I'd like one in a shade that matches my bathroom, pls.

I’d like one in a taupe-y shade that matches my bathroom, pls.

It’s hard to admit you may have missed your calling in life, but I don’t have a shred – nary an ounce! – of doubt that I should have been a world-class, important-papers-in-prestigious-journals-writing dermatologist.

I’m that into skin.

Thus you can imagine my glee when a box arrived bearing not only a lifetime supply of Exfolia Beauty Cloths, but reams of data testifying to its awesomeness and a letter from the company prez himself.

Among its many attributes, it “shaves dead cells like steel razors,” wrote Mr. Exfolia Beauty Cloth President.

Immediately, I mentally dialed-back to the early 90s, when BioMedic Clinical Care was taking off like a rocket, and “derma-planing” – aka scraping the skin with an actual razor – was just beginning to surface as an exfoliation modality.

For any youngsters out there, BioMedic was Cristina “philosophy” Carlino’s first beauty company, and she was a fearless pioneer for blading your your way to better skin. Now you can DIY, with these handy Shiseido gizmos

While I haven’t gone the fave-shaving route (yet), I think it sounds brills.

In the meantime, I’ll stick with my tried-and-true gritty scrubs (j’adore Lancer The Method Polish, but it’s wicked spendy), my Clarisonic when I remember to charge it, and my new BSFF (Best Skincare Friend Forever): Exfolia Beauty Cloth.

According to all the charts and diagrams I received with my Exfolias (Exfolii? Exfoliae?), it’s better for skin, over the long haul, to steer clear of spa- or doc office-administered microdermabrasion treatments.

And as for my Lancer and Clarisonic? Those aren’t so hot either, evidently.

And I quote:

“Dermabrasion crystals are basically tiny shards of glass. They remove skin cells by stabbing and gouging – invading far below the intended corneal layer, and damaging the lower strata: Germinativum; Spinosum; and even the Dermis. Scrub beads simply roll over the dead cells – analogous to mowing your lawn with bowling balls.”

OMG, how much am I loving this colorful language? Stabbing and gouging!!! Mowing your lawn with bowling balls!!! The cutest…

At home in my salle des bains, there’s no stabbing, gouging, mowing or bowling going on. Just a girl and her supersonic new washcloth.

Pairing it with my hard-charging, 1000 percent Florida humidity cleanser of the moment – Clinique Wash-Away Gel – the Exfolia generated mountains of lather (maybe even a little too much lather) and left my skin the kind of squeaky clean that you definitely don’t get from a fast scrub-a-dub with your fingers.

And it presto, change-o instantly flattened two tiny bumps on my left cheek that I think were actually the remnants of a bug bite.

Sidebar: Rude, right? Biting my face? It’s bad enough those pesky flying pests have to leave their mark on other body parts. But my lovely mug…that’s just unacceptable.

Back to the Exfolia. Evidently the dead skin cells-sloughing results build over time. So as a test, I’ll be taking a packet of the disposable version on a massive vacay to the Pacific Northwest that kicks-off tomorrow afternoon.

To be continued…






When I remember to take my thyroid meds, I’m not as chubby. Funny how that works…

Delish, but decidedly chubbifying.

Delish, but decidedly chubbifying.

The other the day, the landline (gasp) rang and I actually (gasp, Part Deux) answered it.

On the other end of the line was one of those pesky RoboCallers.

“This is CVS Pharmacy. Your prescription of Levothyroxine 100 mcgs is ready for pickup.”

Brief pause.

“This is CVS Pharmacy. Your prescription of Levothyroxine 100 mcgs is ready for pickup.”

Wait. It is? Why? I still have about 99 pills left from the last prescription.

And therein lies the problem:

I still have about 99 pills left from the last prescription. 

When I lived in New York, and was a total stressed-out workaholic who had exactly zero time for herself, I used to let my thyroid meds Rx lapse constantly. I’d have a negative number of pills left in the bottle and have to place a frantic call to my GP to get into see him so he could hook me up again.

And not once, but several times, did he say something to the effect of:

“Relax. It takes a long time for thyroid medication to build up and disappear from your body. It doesn’t happen overnight.”

Over time, I started to think: “Meh. I haven’t taken my meds for days. Who cares?” 

I’ll tell you who cares:

My slightly jiggly thighs care. My more-than-slightly fat –s cares.

After the kindly CVS Pharmacy robot alerted me to my Rx sitch, I decided to double down on my pill-popping and make sure I take my meds every morning, without fail.

So for about 10 days, I’ve been doing exactly that. I don’t even have my precious coffee first. Bam. I hit the kitchen, I hit the cabinet with the mugs and the drugs.

Sidebar: So cute, right? “The mugs and the drugs”?

I’ve also been popping my Terry Naturally Thyroid Care nutritional supplement, which I nabbed on a rando shopping trip to Rollin’ Oats, my local emporium de crunchiness.

When my new GP down here in FLA reduced my Rx medication from 115 mcgs to 100, I told him I thought the Thyroid Care might be helping.

“I doubt that,” he said.


I’m about to hop out on a ledge here and make a massive generalization: Boy GPs can be very dismissive of their forward-thinking, alternative meds-leaning female patients. I’m sure there are open-minded Boy GPs out there. I just haven’t met any of them in the last 10 years or so…

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Chubbiness. Loathsome, despicable chubbiness.

The last time I blogged about my weight – which was really only last week, because it’s all I think about – it was because I was stuck, and frustrated, at 111.5 lbs.

Well, lo and behold: As of this morning, I was down to 109.

And that’s without being carb-obsessed or following the 8-Hour Diet to a T. I’ve even chomped TWO of the gelato bars in the box pictured here. Guess how many there were in total? 3! 3 and I ate 2 of them! Not good…

While I realize that 2, or even 2.5, lbs could just be a normal “water weight” fluctuation, it made me happy to see the scale head south. I like the south.






Melatonin, where have you been all my (situational insomnia) life?

Whoa, this is helping me sleep. Biiiig time.

Whoa, this is totally helping me sleep. Biiiig time.

If any of you lovely Momoverettes ever read one of my posts in which I declare that I’m going to order something, buy something, try something, and you think to yourself:

“I wonder if Momover Lady is really going to order something, buy something, try something…”

Rest assured that I do.


While no one is acting in the role of Momover-ville Sheriff, overseeing that I do what I say I’ll do, know that I have a very strong moral compass. I take my responsibilities as Momover Lady seriously. I walk the talk.

Sidebar: I always get confused with that “walk the talk” jazz. Should I be “walking the walk” instead? Walking, talking. Whatever. I excel at both.

Anyhoo, recently I blogged about intending to buy melatonin for the first time in my life. When was that? Hmmm….

Oh yeah, it was during my most recent bout of werewolf-ian full-moon insomnia. Jesus, WTH? Like I need another reason – albeit a biologically sound reason, which I uncovered while writing that post – to wake up, and stay up, at 3 am.

The decided upside of my werewolf-ian full-moon insomnia blog post research is that I decided I needed to add melatonin to my repertoire of knockout pills and potions, alongside the ZzzQuil (gross but effective) and Xanax (addictive but effective).

Trust me when I tell you that ZzzQuil is my next-to-last resort, and Xanax is totally 1000 percent my last resort. I have to be desperate to pop a Xanax, but sometimes, quite frankly, I am…

So after I blogged that I needed to order melatonin, I in fact did order melatonin – from the same company, Total Health Nutrients, that I’ve been buying my Brain Calm supplements from for almost a decade.

It’s a long story that I won’t get into too in-depth here, but about a year after I’d had the Wee Lass, I met the creator / brain doc behind Total Health Nutrients, and he basically said my brain was a stressed-out war zone, and severely depleted in vital feel-good hormones like seratonin and gaba. I needed Xanax on the reg, he said. But when I balked at that – hello? who wouldn’t? – he said, essentially:

“Fine, try my Brain Calm pills. But I’m telling you, you need something stronger.”

Back to melatonin, the ostensible main topic of this increasingly riff-y, tangent-y, off-topic-y blog post…

In shopping on the Total Health Nutrients site, I landed on the 1 mg., “Two Stage Release” formula because it helps with staying asleep as well as falling asleep.

My problem is the former; I konk-out the second I hit the pillow, but then, a few hours in – if I’m stressed about some major life matter, or have too many work projects percolating at the same time – my eyes pop open and I’m a goner.

Sometimes, rather than just thrashing around in bed, I get up and start my day at 3 am, coffee and digital New York Times and all. Grim. Productive, but grim.

Since melatonin is the shiny new toy in my sleep-aid life, I’ve decided that I need to learn more about it. What are the long-term effects? Is it addictive?

Uh oh. I’m not liking what I’m finding out about melatonin on the Mayo Clinic website. The net-net: It should be used sparingly, to get you over a short-term insomnia hump.

Well that’s a little sad. But I can live with that. I have very specific, situational insomnia that is absolutely, without question, tied to whatever’s going on in my life. That, and the full moon.






The Wee Lass has lots of Caitlyn Jenner questions (and I have lousy answers)

Explaining Cait to little ones is challenging.

Explaining Cait to little ones is challenging.

Early yesterday morning, as I was trying to process a few quick work-related emails before heading out for a Momover Lady / Wee Lass day involving sushi and the Minions movie (off-the-charts cuteness, and foxy Jon Hamm voices a key character), she rushed into my office and said:

“Mommy, there’s a woman on television who sounds exactly like a man.”

Oops! I’d accidentally left the Today Show on in the family room, and she’d caught a clip of Caitlyn Jenner accepting the ESPY award for courage. All six-foot-something, evening-gowned inch of her.

Deer in the headlights, thy name is Dana.

Immediately, I sensed a fork in the road:

Do I shoo her away with a faux-distracted “You’re kidding!” and just get right back to my email inbox?

Or do I use this as a teachable moment?

Stupidly, I opted for the latter:

“Well, that’s because she used to BE a man.”

As you can well imagine, that led to an avalanche of further questions that I fumbled around to answer. It wasn’t pretty.

The main problem, at least for me, is that my daughter is 9 and I have no idea how much she knows about anything of a sexual nature. And I’m sorry, but we can’t really skate out on the gender-issue ice without also skating out onto the sexuality ice. The two are linked, right?


See? Even I’m confused. While I of course, along with everyone else on the planet, read the VF cover story, I still don’t know who Caitlyn Jenner wants to sleep with.

And it’s none of my business who Caitlyn Jenner wants to sleep with; I’m well aware of that. But how do you begin to explain to a curious kid that some people are so uncomfortable with their gender that they’ll transition to the other one?

Although she and I haven’t had “The Talk” yet (translation: there has been no discussion of penis-meets-vagina, or penis-meets-anything-else), the Wee Lass understands homosexuality in its broadest strokes.

In her first-grade class, one of the boys had two mommies. And recently, when she and I were in the car together and listening to news radio about the legal shifts around gay marriage, she asked:

“Why is it such a big deal that gay people are allowed to get married now? Why were they ever NOT allowed to get married in the first place?”

That made me happy. And because I’m always trying desperately to figure out how much she knows about sex without directly talking to her about it – I in turn asked her:

“What does ‘gay’ mean to you?”

She said:

“It just means that you’re a woman who wants to marry another woman, or a man who wants to marry a man.”

It was all very matter-of-fact, which I loved.

But the Caitlyn thing…the Caitlyn thing has me stumped.

I need to do a little research about the best way to handle further Qs along those lines because I want to be ready to rumble the next time they crop up. Project!


It’s just way too easy to get discouraged with weight loss. (Or lack there of…)

Sadly, not on the menu right now.

Sadly, these are not on the menu right now.

Last night, as I guzzled a Shock Top Honeycrisp brewski and chomped into a piece of garlic bread during my Victory Dinner at a neighborhood resty (Yay! I’m now a Docent at the stunning Dali Museum!), Hubby turned to me and asked:

“So how’s it going with the carb-counting?”

Can you spell B-U-Z-Z-K-I-L-L? Holy (forbidden) cannoli…

Yes, it was a little mean. But a lot necessary.

Why? Because after only a few weeks, I’d already started giving up on my efforts to curb my carb intake.

This is why I never get to my goal weight. I backslide.

I backslide even when I know that patience is the key to gettin’ it done.

After Hubby and I had our Official Carb Summit, he warned me that it could take up to a month to start seeing results.

Maybe because it was coming on the heels of another “miracle” plan that didn’t really whittle my middle – The 8-Hour Diet, which I’ve blogged about recently – I just felt like throwing in the towel on carb-counting almost immediately when I didn’t see the number on my scale head south.

But giving up is what I always do when I’m trying to lose weight. Consequently, I am rarely at a weight I feel is optimal.

The specifics: I’m 5’1 and weigh – as of one minute ago, when I just hopped on the scale – 111.5 lbs.

That’s 11.5 lbs more than I’d like to weigh.

Is it realistic for me to want to get down to 100 lbs? Especially at my age?

Perhaps no.

But what about the other scenario? The “perhaps yes” scenario? I kinda feel that it’s at least somewhat in my interest to get to a weight I think would look very good on my Olsen Twin-Tiny frame.

As boring and tedious as it is, I think I need to start keeping food + drink log. There are reams of data pointing to the benefits of tracking what you consume, and yet I don’t do it.

Considering how bummed I am about failed efforts to blast the blubber, though, I don’t know that I have any other choice.

And while I’m not particularly tech-y, I should probably deploy some method that involves my iPhone. That feels at least a little less geeky than pulling out a tiny notebook and scribbling down every nibble.

I just found this great roundup of online food-trackers on the Redbook mag site. It might be a little old, but I think a lot of these apps are still in play.

I’m leaning toward My Fitness Pal, which I wrote about while I was at BRIDES. There’s really good buzz on that.

Whoa – on the My Fitness Pal homepage, I found this stat:

“Medical studies show that keeping a food journal DOUBLES your weight loss!”

I’m down with doubling the de-blubbering. You?

And speaking of fitness: I need to go sign-up for Cardio Tennis at my racquet club, and then hit the gym. A bientôt.







Oldies but goodies: For your reading pleasure, I’ve unearthed a few ancient (but tres useful) blog posts

The Dali Museum is all kinds of gorge.

The Dali Museum is all kinds of palm-treed gorge.

Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god.

On Monday, I have my oral exam for my (fingers-crossed) Docent gig at the Dali, and I have a verrrrrry long presentation to memorize from top to bottom.

In addition, Wimbledon is raging (Serena v Sharapova on Centre Court!), and I’m beginning to think it might not be the best idea that Casa Momover Lady has a subscription to the Tennis Channel.

Anyhoo, this is my long-winded way of saying that I need to go AWOL for a few days and buckle on down.

But in the meantime, I leave you with rando list of blog posts I think are shockingly useful in your quest to become a well-rounded Awesome Mommy + Fiercely Hot Chick.

FYI, a lot of them are tabbed under the “Crunchy” and “Life Tools” sections of this site, which you’ll see in the Categories list on the left of the home page. I’m actually really glad I realized that! Very helpful when I need a jolt of positivity and a get-off-my-tush cattle prod.

On y va. Allons-y. Let’s go!

1. I’m gonna go all Nate Berkus on Aunt Jan

2. How to “do you” and not worry about what anyone else is up to. (Hint: It’s challenging but life-changing.)

3. There’s something to this “grace under pressure” stuff

4. Are you a Doer or a Talker? I’m kinda both. (But guess what? One’s a lot better than the other. Snap.) 

5. Metabolic Syndrome, de-coded. (You’re very welcome, my carb-addict, sugar-gobbling friend.) 

Okay, wish me luck on my Dali-Docent thang. I desperately need it.




When the script we write for ourselves needs a revise, buck up and do it. Now. Not later.

May we all have even a drop of her self-confidence.

May we all have even a drop of her self-confidence.

I can get in cycles – and maybe you can, too – of just mentally thrashing myself.

“I could be so much better at X, Y or Z.”

“Why aren’t I further along on that project?”

“Should I even bother to try [insert obsession du jour here]? Hmmm, maybe not.”

As the French say – or perhaps the French don’t say it, but I sure do: Quelle drag.

It’s called Negative Self-Talk (NST, for short), and when I’m stuck in the NST groove, it can take mucho interior cheerleading – oodles of rah rah sis-boom bah – to steer myself in the opposite direction.

In part, I think my NST is genetic; both of my parents, but particularly my mother, were champion “worst-case scenario” types. That led to not only a less-than-peppy home life, but a fair amount of self-destructive habits, too. I won’t be getting into specifics about that here, though. That ship has sailed, and I have zero interest in paddling along after it.

And happily, I’m pretty sure I haven’t passed this charming propensity for NST along to my own offspring.

That’s why, whenever I find myself starting to slip down the NST rabbit hole, I sometimes ask the Wee Lass how she would handle certain situations, or thoughts.

Talk about a 180: If I didn’t know for a fact that she’s a blood relative, there’s no way I’d believe she were part of my immediate family.

Seriously, her way of re-framing dodgy or unpleasant situations always – and I mean always – comes from a place of self-confidence. She never beats herself up, never questions her own self-worth, never doubts her place in the world.

It’s just so amazing to me that she turned out this way that I often find myself poking and prodding at her psyche, trying to unlock her Secrets to Rock-Solid Self-Confidence.

And then I remember: Riiiiiiiiight, I wrote an entire chapter about rewiring NST in my Momover book.

So now, because I really need it – and maybe you do, too – I will hit the highlights of that earlier research. (Be forewarned: Example-wise, it’s aimed at mamas of newborns. Still, the core concepts are applicable to all.)

It basically boils down to two key steps:

How to Shift from Negative to Positive Self-Talk

Step One: Challenge Your Negative Assumptions

A lot of our bad thoughts about ourselves – and the inner dialogue we create as a result of those thoughts – is based on flat-out reality distortion. Fight non-sense with sense. For instance, you may find yourself saying something along these lines: “All the other moms in Gymboree feed their kids homemade organic baby food. I’m not doing all I can to make sure little Susie gets a healthy head start.” 

If so, follow immediately with Self-Talk like this: “If that’s true, then why hasn’t little Susie had as much as a sniffle in six months? And why is she off-the-charts in height and weight?” 

Step Two: Replace Them with Something Stronger, Healthier and Happier

This step gives you a way to re-frame your first negative thought / Self-Talk in a way that benefits both you and your wee one. Using the example above, you could say something like: “Wow, if all these Gymboree moms are feeding their kids homemade organic baby food, maybe it’s easier to make than I think it is. I’ll check out some recipes online when I get home. It might just be the perfect excuse for getting that schmancy food-processor I’ve been eyeing at Williams-Sonoma.” 

Now you’ve spun a potentially “bad-mommy” thought into one that is so much more positive and constructive. Yay!



Grrr, grrr and more grrr: I now have monthly full-moon insomnia. Maybe I’m a werewolf?

So purty, but so wakey-wakey. Not good.

So purty, but so wakey-wakey. It’s kinda killin me.

As I puttered around our family room from 2 to 5 am this morning, gazing out at the ghostly glow over our swimming pool, I thought to myself:

“A) This full-moon insomnia is absolute bullshit. And B) Am I the only weirdo-psycho who suffers from this every frigging month?”

So much for my Lent-sparked ban on swearing. That’s just how frustrated I was at being wide-awake in the middle of the night. Still, I can pinkie-swear promise I’ve cut back drastically on my cussing. Drastically.

So is this an actual thing, this full-moon insomnia? I really need to know. Because ever since we moved to FLA, it’s been raging.

I’m feeling Scorpio-sleuthy today, so let me investigate in between peeks at the Wimbledon coverage on ESPN.

SIDEBAR: WILL MY BELOVED RAFA NADAL EVER GET HIS MOJO BACK??? Beaming major positive energy to Majorca…

Okay, I’m back. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. It’s official: I’m a genius. (And probably not a werewolf.) How do I know this? Because the second I started my research, I found this piece from Time mag that says full-moon insomnia is very real.

2. Time mag came to its stunning conclusions re: full-moon insomnia by recapping the findings of the extremely science-nerdy Journal of Current Biology. In its page-turning report on the topic, “Evidence that the Lunar Cycle Influences Human Sleep,” the brainiacs at Current Biology determined that the moon disrupts the production and release of melatonin, the key sleep hormone. Melatonin is your friend; you do not want to mess with melatonin.

3. I already sleep with a mask – every night of my life, even when I’m on vacation – so that helps boost my melatonin production.

Related Post: Peekaboo! Sleep masks rock, and now I know why

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4. But I may buy a bottle of melatonin to keep on hand, too. And perhaps up my nightly dose of Brain Calm, which I’ve been taking for a decade. I also have to double down on sipping my fave magnesium bevvie, Natural Calm Anti-Stress Drink.

5. Finally, I need to make sure I’m wearing myself out with hard aerobic exercise in the run-up – and throughout – the dastardly full-moon cycle. I always sleep great if I’ve run that morning. That’s my real go-to, but I like to have other tricks up my sleeve, like my patented Vanderpump Rules HIIT Workout™.

Okay, the televised tennis is beckoning to me so I gotta jet.