I know, I know: I swoon over this, I swoon over that. So much so that “Swoony” is quite quickly becoming my middle name.

But this time I mean it.

In recent weeks, when I’m not doing my bit upstairs in the family room – huffing, puffing and stopping just short of a heart attack executing one of the grueling P90X workouts – I’m sneaking downstairs to my boudoir to watch DVRd episodes of two wildly divergent slices of pop culture: Jersey Shore and Downton Abbey.

Actually, the “upstairs / downstairs” reference is the perfect analogy for these two shows. I spend a great deal of time literally screaming (“Oh. My. Effing. God.”) at the television set during Jersey Shore, primarily because it’s so hard to believe that these guidette and juicehead kids can be so sweet and so funny and so incredibly trashy at the same time. The mind boggles.

Suffice it to say that Downton Abbey has the polar opposite effect. But yet, it’s fascinating to see how the household staff, who conduct much of their lives in the nether regions of the spectacular titular estate, interact with the rich-but-about-lose-everything Grantham family.

The entire cast is amazing, but of course I’m zero-ing in on Elizabeth McGovern, who plays Countess Cora and mama to three daughters who are in need of wealthy hubbies ASAP. I’m old enough to remember her early 80s heyday in films like “Ordinary People” and “Racing With the Moon,” and it’s so much fun to see how beautiful she still is – and not in a surgeried, Botoxed into oblivion fashion.

Plus, her Edwardian-era costumes are to die for. Trust me when I tell you that this pic doesn’t do her wardrobe justice.

The Countess is warm and fuzzy with her three spoiled chicklets, but she just wants them married already. Especially the eldest, who is willful and headstrong, and exhibiting a disturbing penchant for potentially ruinous trampy behavior.

Not Jersey Shore-trampy, mind you; that won’t surface for another 100 years. But tarty nonetheless.

And lucky for me, I get to see both. The  entire upstairs / downstairs, high brow / low brow, swoony / scary spectrum.