View from the front sorta-door. Note the driftwood decor...

Now that my hair has deflated a bit from the humid island weather (well, actually it poured yesterday in Gotham, grrr…) it’s time to turn our collective mama-attentions to the utter happiness that is the Driftwood Spa at Jakes. My über-bestie Lisa had told me it was nice; understatement of the decade.

Picture large, super-comfy open-air treatment rooms facing the ocean that get tons of crisp, clean natural light. Not that dark, cave-y feel you can sometimes get in spas. Or, worse, harsh fluorescent lights attached to magnifying lenses. Of course I understand why aestheticians use those high-tech looking glasses: They need to scrutinize your pores at close range. But whenever I’m under one, I’m always expecting someone to pop out from behind a curtain and interrogate me in a “Where were you on the night of the 15th?” fashion.

Trust me when I tell you that the Driftwood Spa is not a no-pore-unturned experience.

Instead, the Signature Facial, which I had, starts with a chakra balancing. While placing little pebbly, crystal thing-a-ma-jiggys on my rock-hard abs (kidding, though they’re not bad these days), my lovely aesthetician asked me to try to visualize the colors the chakras correspond with. Starting with my belly button – the “root” chakra – and heading north, she ultimately placed seven stones, which stayed throughout the entire 75-minute treatment.

(Sidebar: I’m definitely getting more into crystals lately, and would like to learn more about the chakras. In fact, I may even nab this cute little kit.)

But back to my facial. It included a ton of massage, of the upper body as well as the face, which was impossibly yummy. I’m reading more and more about the benefits of facial massage, and I think it’s such a low-key, analog way to relax and, ultimately, look younger. And what Momoverette in her right mind doesn’t want that?

As a longtime wellness journalist, I’m very big on massage. Without question, it is so, so, so good for you. That’s why I also booked an Aromatherapy Massage for myself at Jakes, as well as a Swedish for Hubby. After P90X-ing to smithereens lately, and given the fact that we’re no spring chickens, I thought it would be just the just the ticket for our weary bones and muscles. And it totally was. We got to pick from three blends of Caribbean Essentials oils – Rapture, Restore and Release – all of which were laced with patchouli, so of course I, aka Crunchista, was intoxicated.

I could have spent my entire va-cay at the Driftwood Spa, sampling one Jamaican-flavored treatment after another. Like the Bona Fide Coffee Scrub and the Mocha Cocktail Rum Wrap. Or perhaps a little yoga on the roof. Jakes hosts many yoga retreats, and you cannot imagine a more spectacular setting than the upper terraces of this super-beautiful corner of the world. Swoon.

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