Tennis self-harassment is not allowed. Even when you’re playing capital “t’ Terribly.

Three people, eight billion racquet bags...
Why do three people need eight billion racquet bags? Just asking…

Note to self: You’re not a good enough tennis player to take, ahem, several weeks off and then just blithely pop back on the court like you’re Vika or something.

So there I am this morning, at Cardio Tennis, playing so badly I think our coach was actually a little mad at me, lol.

Not that I blame him. It was as if I were holding my racquet horizontally; everything kept bouncing off the rim.

The rim? The rim shouldn’t even be involved in the situation.

Look, I love tennis. But tennis doesn’t always love me – especially when I’ve been AWOL for almost a month.

Sure, I have my excuses. Even borderline-decent excuses.

I was prepping like a mad woman for my Dali Museum Docent exam. We were traveling. I got a pretty vicious sinus infection. When we got back from vacay, I had a ton of work to take care of.

But here’s what you DON’T get to do when you take almost a month off from tennis and then play really, really badly:

You don’t get to berate yourself, either on the court or off.

On the court, no one wants to hear it. Maybe apologize once, then put a cork in it.

Off the court, you just gotta move on.

So this morning, as I hopped in my car to head home after my disastrous showing in Cardio Tennis, I literally said to myself: Shake it off. 

And I did.