Here’s my well-intended but ultimately misguided new habit, which is putting a dent in my bank account while simultaneously not putting a dent in the overflowing stash spilling from the hot pink bins and buckets in my Beauty Armoire: I get an idea in my head – “Let’s try sparkly Kyle Richards eyes!” – and then proceed to round up all the necessary gear to make that idea happen.
And more often than not, I end up buying something.
This is not brills. I need new beauty products like I need a hole in my head. And I don’t need a hole in my head, because I have a hard enough time as it is keeping all my marbles trapped inside my fake-blonde noggin.
Like so many of you – please, I see the search-terms you use, don’t play coy – I’m mesmerized by the disco-ball action on Kyle’s upper lids. And this season, she seems to be glittering around the clock, no matter what manufactured scenario we “catch” her in. No task is too mundane, no outfit too schlubby for the full-tilt eye glitz.
It’s unnerving, but fascinating, too, like viewing some exotic and vibrantly marked creature in its native habitat. I recently caught the last few minutes of “Birds of the Gods” on the Nature show on PBS, which was all about the spectacularly plumed and multi-hued feathered beauties of paradise in New Guinea. Immediately, I thought of Kyle and her sparkly eyeshadow.
So in preparation for a chicks’ cocktail hour for my friend Vix’s birthday, I decided to try to glitz it up myself. Building my little project around my new Tom Ford Eye Color Quad in Silvered Topaz, I started scrolling through my mental Rolodex: Do I have the right brushes? Where are my brushes? Will I need to pick up a few new ones to get the right look?
Um, no, Momover Lady. You will not need to pick up a few new ones to get the right look. (But of course I did. More on that shortly.)
First, on a trip to Target for the express purpose of picking up new undies – but I couldn’t deal with the chaos of those shelves, I need order – I considered buying a Sonia Kashuk eyeshadow brush. “Wait a minute,” I said to myself, “don’t you have the equivalent of a warehouse of Sonia Kashuk brushes at home?” Yay! Saved myself $10 bucks, or however much that little number was.
But today, on a run to the mall to fetch those undies I so desperately needed (six pairs of Vicky Secrets’ lace thongs in nude), as well as a gifty for my pal Vix (sssshhhh…it’s a yummy box of Godiva), I foolishly popped into Sephora.
I am now the not-proud owner of a Slanted Eyeliner Brush, a Classic Double-Ended Flawless Complexion Brush for applying foundation and concealer (not that that has a damn thing to do with creating sparkly eyes, but I just had to have it) and a bottle of Daily Makeup Brush Cleaner to spiff up all the brushes I already owned.
Grrr…I could have saved a whale with that money. And I should have saved a whale with that money.
Okay gotta go get Kyle-sparkly for Vix’s girls’ bash.