Beauty Armoire Monday: Two rando miracle cremes I’m loving (one’s crunchy, the other’s sea-themed)

The cremes are great, but I think I may need to dust my desk...
The cremes are great, but I think I may need to dust my desk…

Bonjour my lovelies. Apologies for not checking in recently.

I’ve been…resting.

Yes, you read that right; resting. Actually lying down, on my bed, without a book, without an iPad, without my mitts on the clicker, binge-watching Ray Donovan and Bloodline.

Okay, maybe I’ve been watching a little Ray and Blood, but it’s only because they are so very, very good. Noirish, grim, positively peppered with handsome individuals of the male persuasion.

And Blood features the added bonus of being set in the Florida Keys, so I get to see oodles of gloomy, stormy oceanscape.

Have you met me? I live for gloomy, stormy oceanscape..

Ooh, I just connected the dots between gloomy, stormy oceanscape and one of the products I’ll be writing about today: Phytomer Hydrasea Night Plumping Rich Cream.

While it’s true that I write about a lot of Phytomer products, it’s only because A) they keep showing up on my doorstep and B) every time I try one, I love it.

Trust me, not everything that lands in my lap is A) tried by me or B) loved by me.

But you’ll never read about anything here that I don’t love; life is too short for me not to radiate intense positivity 24/7. I’m a unicorn, basically. A beauty unicorn.

SIDEBAR: Should I put that on my business cards? DANA WOOD, BEAUTY UNICORN. It has a nice ring to it, non?

So what do I like about the Phytomer Hydrasea Night, you ask? It’s light and soufflé-like, and sinks right into cleansed skin. Always, always, always clean the bejesus out of your skin before you hit the hay at night; it’s roughly a thousand times more important than scrubbing your mug in the morning. You need to “get the day off” – with a thorough cleansing, removing not only makeup, but city grime, too.

But here’s what I really, really, really love about the Phytomer Hydrasea Night: The scent. According to the press materials, the fragrance is a mashup of floral and “aquatic” notes, which doesn’t tell me a whole hell of a lot. But it’s just very crisp and clean, like a Disney version of ocean. And I mean that in the best possible way, despite the fact that I’ve harshed on Disney in recent months

Since day follows night, I will now shift my focus to the other lovely unguent in my current lineup: Gemstone Organic Rose Quartz Creme.

I got this little number in the goodie bag of a pretty fabulous NYC media event put on by Organic Spa Magazine, and oh my lordy, it. is. delicious.

Like the Phytomer, it smells fantastic. But the texture! It’s slithery, and oily, and tacky and slimy and my dry, thirsty skin looooooves it. I know I’m making it sound horrible, but it is the polar opposite of horrible.

Even if it weren’t cloaked in crunchiness, I would still adore this Rose Quartz Creme. But I was also really psyched to read about its special powers on the Gemstone Organic website:

Rose Quartz créme is made with Gemstone Essence from rose quartz, kunzite, smokey quartz and other select crystals. This unique gem blend is made to reveal a softer, smoother complexion. It carries a loving energy, helping you with acceptance and forgiveness. Open your heart chakra to attract all forms of love (self, universal, family and romantic).

Love brings you inner warmth that will reduce stress and elevate levels of happiness!

So good, right? I think I’ll slather some on tonight (after cleansing, bien sur) and watch a few million episodes of Ray and Blood. Project.