Because I love you, I want you Momoverettes to pick your V Day fleur-delivery services verrrry carefully

This "deconstructed" bouquet is by ProFlowers.
This “deconstructed” bouquet is by ProFlowers.

This is a decidedly uncheery tale to tell you, but with Valentine’s Day knocking on our doors, I feel compelled to share it you.

So a few months ago, my sister celebrated a “benchmark” birthday – the kind that warrants a major shout-out, and many thoughtful prezzies, from assorted loved ones.

My brother and I went in on a gift certificate to a spa in her area.

And then he also took her out to dinner and I had fleurs sent to her home.

These fleurs were not inexpensive. And they were to be delivered to her doorstep on the morning of her big day.

I didn’t give her a heads-up about the delivery. Instead, the plan was to go about my business and just wait for one of those “You shouldn’t have!” texts to come in over the transom.

I waited.

I waited some more.

Finally, circa 10 pm her time, I get the news that the fleurs had indeed arrived, but that they were so bedraggled and destroyed from tooling around in a truck all day – in the blazing Las Vegas sun! – that she immediately called the fleur-delivery service and demanded a do-over.

Ballsy, non? J’adore ma soeur!

The fleur-delivery service was nice enough about her request, she said. And promised that an un-wilted replacement would be in her possession early the next day.

Instead, what she got was an equally bedraggled and destroyed – and now a day past her birthday – bouquet late the following evening.

“There’s no way you should pay for those,” she texted. “Promise me you won’t?”

I was so mortified and pissed-off. But of course when my Amex statement arrived a few weeks later I just went ahead and paid it. I kept thinking to myself, “They tried, right? Back-to-back deliveries?”

But trying really isn’t the point. Getting it right is the point.

Enter the PSA portion of this blog post:

A concerned operative from ConsumerAffairs.com reached-out to me via email with a new interactive tool that may help cut down on the “tons of complaints” the site receives about crummy bouquets. Apparently, we thoughtful, loving individuals spent over $1.5 billion on Valentine’s Day fleurs last year, and you can bet your sweet bippy that some of those bouquets were riding around in a truck in the blazing Las Vegas sun all day before landing at their destination. Grrrrr times a billion…

I have to get the Wee Lass up and at ’em for school right now, so I’m being very lazy and cutting-and-pasting the email the concerned operative sent me about the new Valentine’s Day-friendly interactive tool:

“In order to help consumers better prepare themselves this year, we ordered 5 bouquets from the most popular online flower retailers, deconstructed each one and discovered which retailer provided the greatest value in the following categories:

– Best bang for your buck
– Most romantic
– Best deal
– Best match to website description

The interactive tool is pretty awesome. You can hover over individual flowers to get information such as wholesale price, retail price, scent and meaning for each bloom in the bouquet. I think your readers would be fascinated by our findings.”

But even more important than being “fascinated” by this clever tool is not being ripped-off by a bad V-Day bouquet.

Here’s the link again. Bon shopping!

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