Momover Lady’s Library: The Big Picture by Tony ‘P90X’ Horton. OMG, love him. Biiiiiig time.

So cute. And smart. And 56!!!
So cute. And smart. And 56!!! May we all look this good.

Happy hollies, my lovely Momoverettes! May we all collectively blow the pants off 2015 in the most major of kick-ass ways.

But before I dispense with 2014, I have oodles of work to do.

I just got back from a starvation spa in an undisclosed location, which I’m writing about for an undisclosed magazine, to hit the newsstands in an undisclosed time-frame. The deadline? In 48 hours, bébe. The clock is ticking and I’ve been at my desk, jack-hammering away, since 3 a.m.

Yes, you read that right: Three o’clock in the g.d. morning. Welcome to my world of Beauty + Wellness Writer fabulosity…

But because I love you, I’m stealing a few minutes out of my jam-packed, haven’t-wrapped-the-Wee-Lass’s-Xmas-prezzies-yet day to tell you about a book I picked up at the airport that I’m only a hundred pages into and am already crazy about: The Big Picture: 11 Laws That Will Change Your Life by Tony Horton.

Faithful readers might recall that a few years ago, Hubby and I slogged through Tony the Tiger’s super-famous P90X at-home fitness program not once but twice.

Whoa, I just went through my archives and found approximately 95 posts I wrote about it back then:

Is it Tony Time? Mulling P90X for 2011

Colleen’s washboard abs are selling me on P90X

Home is where the P90X is. Ouch. Cue heating pad…

Post P90X, I can semi-rock the jeggings

Clearly, it made an impression.

If you’ve also done P90X, you will know that:

1. It’s really effing hard.

2. You will get in incredible shape.

3. Listening to Tony Horton natter on while he’s forcing you to do a vomit-inducing number of jumping jacks and bicep curls is kind of addictive. He’s super-smart, super-sassy and super-handsome.

Don’t believe me about the super-handsome bit? Eyeball this book jacket. The guy is turning 57 next year. A walking, talking (lots of talking, he’s so chatty) billboard for clean living.

Given that I’m on deadline, haven’t wrapped the Wee Lass’s Xmas prezzies yet, need to make an appearance at mass later today (sans Spanx, thank you very much), and am only 100 pages into Tony’s book, I can’t do a soup-to-nuts review like I’ve done with my previous Momover Lady’s Library posts.

But something tells me you’ll survive with the abbreviated version of my sterling prose. So, without further ado, I give you:

My Top 5 Tips from the First 100 Pages

1. Phoning it in is not allowed. Ev. Er. In high school and even into his early 20s, our boy Tony was a total stoner who didn’t give his all to anything. But here’s the deal: You just never know what might be coming down the pike for you, career-wise. And if you screw up one opportunity by not doing your best, you might blow your chance at something else that would naturally follow. The early-on domino effect of Tony getting his act together? He busted his ass to do a good job of training a corporate-exec client of his, who turned out to be besties with….Tom Petty. Mr. Free-Fallin’ promptly became Tony’s very first super-celeb, mega cashed-up customer.

2. 4x a week is the bare minimum for working out. This isn’t a fitness book, but you can bet your sweet bippy it includes tons of intel about the importance of exercise in every aspect of our lives. In Tony’s perfect world, we’d hit it 6 days a week. But at least ramp up from that measly three. Three is bullshit. Three gives you what he calls “exercise bipolar disorder,” meaning that on any given day, you’re just as likely to not work out. He’s not down with that. Being fit is too important.

3. Initially sucking at something is “the new awesome.” Pourquoi, you ask? Because it means you’re at least trying. Not trying because you don’t want to look like a jackass is for wimps. Our handsome hero spent a good chunk of his early life not diving into stuff he was itching to try because he didn’t want to be seen failing. He’s now over that in a massive way.

4. Plan, plan, plan. Write down everything you want to accomplish. Put it on a calendar. Every day of your ever-loving life. I don’t do this, but I intend to. Tony says that once you start really planning your life – in writing –  you won’t be able to stop. That would be so fab.

5. Be fake-nice to the nay-sayers in your life. On the road to fame and fortune, Mr. T has encountered plenty of people who’ve told him that whatever he was envisioning would never happen. The best way to deal with these (possibly well-meaning) blowhards is to just politely acknowledge them, hear ’em out, and get right back to exactly what you were just doing. Because mostly, they’re flat-out wrong. And even if they’re right, failing is the new awesome. Capeesh?